How many types of horrible leaders are there?
Let me count the ways...
Some shout. 
Some micromanage. 
Some lead by pressure and control.

But my personal pet peeve?
The ones who manipulate through absence. 

The ones who seem nice, thoughtful, "empowering.”

Instead, they create moral vacuums.

They don’t push. 
They don’t pressure. 

They just quietly pile on the work, set vague expectations, and disappear.

Knowing full well that the principled people they’ve surrounded themselves with will step up.

I once worked under someone like this.
On the surface they seemed nice and supportive.

But their style left everything hanging. 
Projects. Priorities. Responsibilities.

And because we didn’t want to let each other or our stakeholders down, we kept stepping up.

Soon the whole team found itself on the brink of burnout.
It didn’t take long to recognise this wasn’t “hands-off leadership.”

It was a form of control that exploited our work ethic.

Manipulation and guilt-tripping are common in the workplace - not just between leaders and employees, but peer-to-peer as well.

No direct request or confrontation.
Just strategic silence that leans on guilt.

So what can you do if you’re stuck in that dynamic?
• Push for clarity. “What’s the priority? What’s the timeline? Who owns this?”
• Protect your energy. Just because you can carry more doesn’t mean you should. 
• Don’t confuse silence for trust. Sometimes it’s just avoidance. 
• Talk to peers. You’re probably not the only one feeling it.

For every one of these passive-aggressive operators, there are plenty of good leaders out there. 
People who empower and support without manipulation.

Let’s be one of those.

Recognise the signs, in others and yourself.
Call them out when you see them. 

The climate might be what it is, but in your sphere of control, you make the weather.

At Skill Boxx, we help leaders build transparent, accountable, and supportive teams, where guilt trips and vague expectations don’t stand a chance.